“My ending was better.” I kicked at a pebble in the parking lot. We’d just gotten out of Revenge of the Sith.

“Your ending?” one of my cousin, James’, friends asked. There were five boys in total and I couldn’t keep their names straight.

“The ending I had planned out in my head before seeing the movie – the one I thought would have occurred to Lucas.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Instead we got an overly dramatic ending that messes with the continuity of the original trilogy.”

All six boys blinked and I wondered if I were talking an alien language.

“Continuity?” one ventured.

“Luke asks Leia is she remembers her mother – her real mother – when they’re in the Ewok village. He makes a point of stressing the word real, implying that Leia knew that her adoptive mother was not her real mother.”

“Maybe her adoptive mother died and her father remarried?”

I shot James a dark look. Where did he find these guys and why couldn’t we have gone on our own? As usual, he was trying – and failing – not to laugh at me.

“So what was your ending?” one of the braver ones asked.

“Simple. Bail Organa turns out to have loved her for years and he sweeps her off to Alderaan. She never recovers and dies a few years later.”

“Which one was Bail Orgian?” this from the complete novice who had only started watching with The Phantom Menace.

“Jimmy Smits,” I replied, gently, still hoping he could be saved if James loaned him the proper movies.

The others groaned. “No way. No way in hell.”

“No way what?”

“No way that guy could get Natalie Portman!”

It was my turn to blink. “It’s Jimmy Smits,” I said. They just looked at me – six pairs of blank eyes. “Jimmy Smits,” I repeated.

They shook their heads. They were adamant. In their minds there was no way a guy like Jimmy could land a girl like Natalie. “This is why none of you have girlfriends,” I muttered under my breath.

It was months before James let me near his friends again.

Disclaimer, post originally written for another one of my (now defunct) blogs.

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